You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
