remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
