Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
