Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
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