This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
