he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
