Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
