what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
