i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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