I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
