So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is Oprah even human
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
