wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
