; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
