I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
