repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
