i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
