Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
