now i know why i became what i already was.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
sex in a hospital.. check
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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