Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
