I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
