Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize