There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
