I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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