I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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