It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
