well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
