on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
