so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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