My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
