So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize