Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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