I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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