Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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