I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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