Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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