Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize