Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
