Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
