Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
