maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
