Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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