sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
