So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize