So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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