I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
