I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize