There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
