Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
