I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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