Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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