I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
