the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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