still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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