Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize