she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize